Happy Blog

It has been brought to my attention that blogging about the atrocities and pains of life, while relatable, is not necessarily the most enjoyable read, and in trying to keep with the idea that I don’t want my blog to simply be cry fest, I am writing the happiest blog ever written, inspired by Nick Hansen. I guess I shouldn’t say inspired, because he pretty much triple dog dared me, which I can’t very well ignore that… so here goes.

I truly believe that in spite of the seemingly earth shattering stressors that have engulfed my life as of late (finals week) I am doing just fine. I know that I will be fine. This concept is known to others in the major as self-efficacy, in other words, the confidence in ones abilities to complete a goal or task. I feel as though that self-efficacy is a concept that is either built up or torn down through out ones life. I myself was fortunate enough to have loving parents that supported me in whatever I did and reminded me that even if I were to fail at a task, it would be okay, the sun would still rise the next day and my life would go on. Beyond the confidence my parents have instilled in me I feel as though there is another source for which all this self-efficacy and confidence is derived. That of course being from none other than Heavenly Father.

Its funny because prior to getting baptized I remember taking a lot of pride whenever I achieved a goal I had set out for, because I felt like I did it all on my own without anyone’s help… but it was those failures… those moments when I did my best and it still wasn’t enough that really began to wear on me, my self esteem, and my self-efficacy. I had my parents encouragement but I the doubt and inadequacy that accompany such failures or short comings can be maddening and all consuming.


It was after I was baptized that this mode of thinking began to change drastically and for the better. I had to humble myself enough to understand that any task or goal I would accomplish was not of my own doing, it was with the help and guidance of someone who blessed me with the talents and skills I possess. In that same instant I can’t rely completely on the gifts I have been granted to carry me through any mission, I have to be willing to put forth the necessary effort in order to achieve what I desire. Those components factored in, there is still no guarantee for success… while that might sound defeating, that is actually the most rewarding knowledge. This isn’t to say that I would pass the buck of any failures of mine onto that of the Lord, I would never.

What I am saying is that if I am confident that I have done my very best and for some reason I still don’t accomplish what I had expected, it doesn’t mean my best wasn’t good enough, or that I am inadequate, it means that there was something else for me to learn. There is a greater lesson at hand or a different path for me to follow. Where once I would dwell on what I had done or could have done differently, with the love and help of Heavenly Father I have been able to train my past focus to present focus. I can narrow my motivation to finding out the lesson He wanted me to learn and move forward from there verses my former method of letting my thoughts reside in the past.

All that is really required in that instant of doubt or a diminished self-efficacy is to remember that I am loved and I am blessed. I have what I have because He gave it to me.