As I sat down to write tonight I was feeling rather melancholy and believe you me, I was ready to have myself a big fat pity party and write something completely miserable. Then of course I came to my senses and realized that no one really cares how sad I am or how lonely I feel. Instead, I’m just going to rant about some of my gripes with dating. If you hadn’t guessed from the title of this post then let me tell you now, we’re gonna talk Tinder.
If you don’t know what Tinder is then do yourself a favor, download the app and figure it out for yourself or look it up on Wikipedia because I don’t have the patience to explain it.
I like Tinder because although it falls into the category of online dating, it doesn’t quite feel like online dating. In fact, when I downloaded the app I remember one of my first matches saying, “I’m not so good at this online dating thing,” and I responded with, “what online dating thing?”
Secondly I LOVE Tinder for the obvious reason that it is completely based on looks. Finally, a dating site that understands I want to find myself a hotty. Its maddening to me how everyone runs around acting like being attracted to someone doesn’t matter. Yes, I get it, looks aren’t everything, THIS ISN’T NEW KNOWLEDGE PEOPLE. But while the truth that looks aren’t everything exists, so does the truth that looks aren’t nothing. To deny the importance of physical attraction is like denying the importance of emotional attraction, both would be silly. Maybe I am bold, maybe I am brash, but I will openly admit that I want to enjoy the face I am having a conversation with while simultaneously enjoying the conversation. Does that admittance make me a bad person? Or an honest one? You decide.
I digress, back to why I like Tinder for how completely superficial and look based it is. I like that the only men that can talk to me are ones I have found attractive and likewise found me attractive. I mean it really takes a lot of the guess work out of it.
I do recall saying somewhere that I wanted to rant and I hope you’re ready because here it comes. Note, I can only speak for what I have seen with the men because hey, my door doesn’t swing that way ladies, although if I had to guess, men probably have some of these same gripes with the women of Tinder. But this is from my perspective so I’m gonna stick with male pronouns, deal with it.
More often than not you get one shot, one single picture to showcase yourself and essentially sell yourself to a potential match. So riddle me this, why would you pick the worst possible picture to do that??? I get that a lot of people treat Tinder like a joke or an instrument to pass the time, but some of us are taking it seriously, so fellas if your special lady is out there and she could be on Tinder, what do you want her to see? As a lady, let me tell you what I am looking for.
Here are my Tinder do’s and don’t’s…….
Do: Have your profile picture, the one shot you have to catch a girls interest, be a close up of your face. Smile! Show them pearly whites! I want to see those manly facial features head on, nothing more, nothing less.
Don’t: Don’t wear sunglasses in you profile picture. I can’t tell you how many times I have swiped left on a guy just because he had sunglasses on in his profile picture. I want to see your face, not your shades. Make that like your third or fourth picture if you feel so compelled to share your sunglass preferences with us.
Do: Include a shirtless picture. Oh yeah, I’m going there. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t got it… well then don’t flaunt it. I guess I just want to know what I’m working with. If you aren’t comfortable taking your shirt off, at the very least post a picture of your body. I like big muscles, so I want to see um.
Don’t: Don’t post pictures of scenery or artsy photoshopped pictures, save those for Instagram and Facebook. You get one picture and maybe four others if you’re lucky to show off, don’t waste those pictures with something that isn’t going to convince anyone to swipe right.
Do: Keep your tagline short and sweet. Most of us ladies are making a decision based on your profile picture, but maybe if I’m feeling charitable and I feel like maybe this guy accidentally put up a horrible profile picture, I might click on the information icon to read your tagline and check out your other (hopefully) redeemable pictures. Keep it simple. If there is anything you should include, just tell us all how tall you are or pertinent information like… I have kids or I don’t have a job… those would be good to include.
Don’t: Don’t have an overly long tagline, don’t put your heart and soul into it. Tinder, if you haven’t already gathered is based on LOOKS. There isn’t anything you can put in the tagline that is going to dramatically change that initial gut reaction from the profile picture. I don’t care if you save puppies and kitties.
Do: Say something. Even in this day and age with all the advancements in dating technology, I still think of myself as a traditional girl. This means, you are the man, you should say something. I don’t care if its not creative, just say hi. I likely won’t say anything and another potential Tinder connection is gone down the drain.
That’s pretty much it. Like I said, I can’t really speak for he men because I don’t know what my fellow ladies are putting out there. I followed these rules for myself and hey, I’ve already got one Tinder relationship under my belt, with more to come.
I’m glad for the ease of Tinder, maybe if I get braver I can join other dating sites but for now.. Tinder me baby.
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