At my 38 week checkup I sat there on the table across from my doctor having some real talk. It was December 21st and I had starry eyed dreams that my little baby would be in my arms soon so that he could join our family for Christmas. I had even bought some cute little Christmas jammies for him just in case. My doctor offered to strip my membrane which I had never really heard of but was told it would either get labor going or it wouldn’t. Kind of like flipping a coin I suppose. Although my heart so badly wanted my sweet little boy here the reality of having another child, a newborn weighed heavy and I felt anxious at having to make that decision alone. Tycen of course was at home with Hayes. We had braved bringing Hayes to one appointment and after all the mayhem that ensued it was decided never again. In that instant all I could think of were those red and white striped jammies that needed to be worn by a tiny newborn. I told the doctor to go ahead and do it.
For any mommies reading and thinking, “gee I wonder what that feels like.” It’s kind of like when the doctor checks your cervix only worse…much, much worse. I can only imagine some bright eyed woman, pregnant for the first time strolling past my exam room and cooing over the picture of her sonogram at that exact moment and suddenly second guessing everything. I was wailing from the pain. “You’ll see some spotting for the next day or so, don’t worry, that’s normal. I’ll see you tomorrow and if not, I’ll see you next week!” And away my doctor went. I went about trying to put my pants and shoes on after that form of torture and headed home.
I called my mom per the usual to fill her in on the progress, she was waiting on pins and needles every day for obvious reasons. I text Tycen because phone calls at that point were making him anxious, I was only to call if “it was time.” And then of course I shot a text to all my mommy friends, all anxiously awaiting any word on the expected arrival of my little guy.
I remember being ready to go that day. I had my bag all packed, sitters on standby for Hayes and even better, Tycen had that day and the next off so he wouldn’t be scrambling to get his shifts at work covered. I waited and waited for something to happen, for anything to happen. I was having some painful contractions here and there but nothing that was noteworthy, definitely nothing rhythmic.
When it seemed like the horrendous membrane stripping didn’t work I slumped back into all the old wives tales. I was drinking raspberry leaf tea, walking around my house cleaning constantly, taking evening primrose oil, I changed the sheets and scrubbed the bathtub. Nothing was working.
December 22nd rolled around and still nothing. If anything I was just sore and tired from all the back breaking housework I had done the day before. I spent most of the day resting and reading up on other natural ways to get my baby out. Tycen rolled his eyes at my antics but I couldn’t help myself.
The 22nd quickly turned into the 23rd. I felt defeated because at the rate I was going I was certain I was going to give birth on Christmas day. I’d get my wish but in the most ironic of ways. I settled on a little trip to the grocery store, the walking around might help move things along but I also wanted to buy a couple “sure fire” items to get things going, pine apple, siracha, and even caster oil. Yes, that dreaded most disgusting concoction I swore I would never EVER consume again was once more in my possession, how quickly never had come.
The items all sat on my counter while I wrestled with the pros and cons. Do I continue trying to get things started and risk giving birth on Christmas day? Or do I just put myself on bed rest and hope I make it through to the 26th? Tycen teased me that he really needed me to go into labor so he could avoid going in for his swing shift that Friday evening.
After lamenting all my troubles to my mommy friends they all talked me into going to the hospital. What could it hurt? I was starting to have some painful contractions, more than usual but still nothing rhythmic. But why not? With Hayes my water never broke, at least not in the traditional way that my friends had described theirs breaking. That’s why when the nurses asked me if my water had broken my answer was, “I don’t know.” At my check up days before my cervix was measured at 3 cm which at 4 they consider you to be in active labor and some hospitals will admit you even if your water hasn’t broken. So again, why not go in?
It was early afternoon, Tycen was on his way out the door to work and an hour later my mom was there to escort me to the hospital while my dad stayed behind to watch Hayes. By this point I was growing confident that they would take me. If I was at a 3 on Wednesday, with all the walking and housework I had done on the days inbetween was sure to move me up to a 4! Plus I had all these fluids, it could definitely be that slow leak just like last time. I was certain. Tycen would be getting a call from me soon!
The maternity ward was buzzing but they took me right on back to one of those holding rooms where they decided whether or not you get to stay or if you go. After all my troubles with being sent home with Hayes I had a better game plan this time, I wanted them to check and see if my water had broken. As I said I didn’t know with Hayes and I never had nurses check me, so I suffered for a day and a half with very painful contractions that could’ve probably been avoided. With that in mind the nurse ran a couple of tests.
The first test was this magic little strip of yellow paper that needed to turn blue. Mine turned green. That meant my water could be broken but not likely, another more conclusive swab test would have to be run down to the lab to know for certain. Given my history with my previous labor and delivery the swab test was ordered. Because of the busy maternity ward we would have to wait about an hour for the results. So there we sat in a dimly lit room watching the pitch and slope of each of my contractions. I kept Tycen as well as my friends informed while we continued to wait.
Finally the nurse returned. She gave me a big. Fat. Nope. My water wasn’t broken. Thank you, but get out of the gown and leave. Not again. I couldn’t believe it. I was sent home three times with Hayes, how could this be happening again? I felt awful getting my family all worked up, my friends and Tycen. I had already gone through laboring before, how was I getting it confused this time? Maybe wishful thinking had gotten the better of me. The nurse shrugged, maybe sensing how embarrassed I was offered up that the pending storm had brought a lot of expecting mommies in that night.
Of course. With Hayes I had gone in with full blown contractions during a full moon and here the barometric pressure drop of this big storm that we had all been hearing about for weeks was the cause of my false labor. Ugh, that term. False labor. It was so cruel.
I returned home feeling dejected, thanked my parents for going out of their way for me for pretty much nothing and sent them on their way. Hayes had fallen asleep and since the contractions, albeit false, were causing quite a bit of back pain, I settled on a nice hot bath.
Tycen called me to tell me he was coming home early even though he knew that I wasn’t in labor, he explained that he didn’t want me to be alone taking care of a crazy toddler after the day I had had. Which I’m glad he did. He knew from all the times I was sent home with Hayes how much it wore on me, I welcomed the company or at the very least the opportunity to rest while someone wrangled Hayes.
We ate some dinner and Tycen settled into the evening by playing video games while Hayes cheered him on in the living room, I laid on the bed and read. I read about false labor. I read about the “slow leak.” I read about how to check your own cervix. I read about water breaking and how you can really tell if your water has broken, which is rather serendipitous. I laid there on my side reading about the “stand up test.” It was described that if you stand up from a lay down position and you wet yourself like you had peed your pants, that’s a good indicator. Sounded simple enough and I was already laying down. So I stood up and as luck would have it I was really, really wet.
But I had been sent home just hours before! I couldn’t be in labor! So maybe I had just peed my pants, no big deal right? Pregnant ladies pee their pants all the time! I settled on emptying my bladder and changing into dry pants. I laid back down, waited, and then stood back up… again, I was really, really wet.
As I walked to the living room more and more fluid and I knew. I called out to Tycen, deep into his video game and laughing with his friends over his headset while Hayes played with some toys on the automan. “Honey I think my water broke, in fact, I’m certain it did, I’m leaking all over the floor.” Tycen laughed, told his friends he was going to have a baby and we began fetching everything.
It was just past midnight. My parents having already been at the house earlier Tycen called up his mom, she didn’t answer. I decided to call my mom who like I said, was waiting on pins and needles for THE call. She finally got it and laughed at the irony of how everything played out earlier and here we were, REALLY in labor. It would take her about 15 minutes to get to our house to watch Hayes. Tycen raced around the house asking if I had everything ready, to which I laughed, we had just gone to the hospital hours before and had ourselves a dress rehearsal, I had everything ready from that! I focused on doing my makeup while Tycen gathered some things he would need. Before we knew it my mom was there and I was hugging my sweet little Hayes boy. I had pictured that moment, that final hug goodbye before we became a family of four. I thought I would be a mess but it seemed that in that moment I was finally ready, I was ready for our baby boy to get here. We distracted Hayes with one of his shows as best as we could but he knew something was up. He followed us to the door and cried, and cried. He ran to the window and cried as we pulled away. My mom text me to tell me he calmed down pretty quickly and started watching the movie we had put on but then he grabbed his blankie and sat by our front door, as if waiting for our return.
I was somewhat grateful for the dry run my mom and I had had earlier that afternoon because I knew exactly where to go. I had Tycen park the car and we walked up to the entrance. But then the doors didn’t open which for automatic doors was pretty confusing. Tycen tried to pry them open but to no avail. We guessed it’s because we were entering in through the visitors entrance, maybe the main entrance was a better option. It was a short distance so we walked. But those doors were closed too. We were too excited to notice the sign that read those doors would be close before midnight. Tycen gave me a sidelong glance because as we had driven in I motioned to park on the main side of the hospital and I looked at him sheepishly, “whoops.” So we hopped back in the car to head over to the emergency entrance but we still missed that, Tycen in his hurry pulled into the first place that said emergency, even though there was no where to park. I pointed out that we had pulled into the ambulance bay, we needed to head down just a little further. After circling around the entire hospital we FINALLY we made it.
In classic movie fashion they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me over to labor and delivery. Tycen and I even got to ride the special triage elevator. Upon entering I shouted gleefully to the nurses huddled around the front desk, “I told you all I would be back!” Only none of the nurses at the desk knew who I was because there had been a number of shift changes due to the holiday. What was a bustling maternity ward earlier that afternoon had fallen quiet. The nurse took me back to a delivery room which made me oh so happy, no purgatory room for me this time, I went straight to the real deal!
In our delivery room the nurse checked to see if my water had broken just like before only this time, it really had. Then came all the IVs and the tags and the information, sooooo much information that all just kind of sailed over my head. Did I want the epidural? Heck yeah! I endured a day and a half of the worst contractions with Hayes, I didn’t need that nonsense again! The nurse hooked up the pitocin to get my contractions to be more rhythmic and told me to call when I was ready for the epidural. I thought I would ride things out a little bit but then the meds kicked in. Let me just say, pitocin contractions are like contractions on steroids. They hurt so incredibly bad. Before I knew it I was begging for the anesthesiologist to get there.
It was fun watching Tycen talk to every single person that came into our room and make conversation. The nurse commented because our anesthesiologist was a really quiet guy, she hadn’t heard him say more than two words and yet here he was telling Tycen all about his kid and some such superbowl they had both gone to. I’m not sure, I missed a lot of it, I was waiting for the epidural to kick in and was breathing through contractions.
We were fully admitted and ready to wait, it was about 2 am. Every so often the nurse would come in and check on me, a new one every time it felt like. I think it was about the third nurse I saw that explained that because of the holiday they all worked very short shifts, so basically a lot of different people were going to be seeing my goods for the next few days.
Around 3 they had checked me and I was finally dilated to 4 cm. I knew I had to let my friend know once I was at 5 because that’s when she would head to the hospital to capture and record the birth. Tycen and I laid back and laughed, how on earth were we going to manage two kids? Hayes is just so so so much for just one kid. Time is a tricky thing when you’re laboring, it both creeps along slowly and yet flies by at the same time.
Another hour passed and the nurse came to check on me, low and behold I had gone from a 4 to a 9. AH! She decided a couple practice pushes was in order get my baby moved a little further down the birth canal. After one push she stopped me and said if I pushed any farther we’d have to get ready to catch the baby! She called the doctor, which as luck would have it my doctor was out on holiday so I got some random doctor covering her patients. I called my friend and she raced over as fast as she could to make it in time.
My friend showed up just in time to cue up her camera and coordinate with nurses before my doctor for the day showed up. He was a really smiley and happy doctor which is saying a lot considering it was 6:30 in the morning on Christmas Eve.
In one, two, and three pushes, out he came. The doctor gave out a laughing sigh as he had barely caught out little babe that shot right out of the birth canal. Here’s where I give myself kudos for a strong core that took care of business!
December 24th, 2016 at 6:43 AM, our little Link James PoVey came into the world, 8 lbs 4 oz and a length that is up for debate but I’ll side with 21 ½ inches long.
Of course I cried, the familiar sensation of this little life being here before me out of my belly and in my arms is so powerful. It’s hard for me to compare to Hayes, my firstborn. A part of me feels as though the fact we chose to wait to find out the gender with Hayes just made those feelings a little more intense. It’s really hard to explain. I think I felt a little more awestruck that I had two kids now, in just three pushes and I was a mother of two.
My mom arrived to check on her baby and meet her new grandson when they moved me to a recovery room. From there we made plans for when to bring Hayes to meet his brand new baby brother.
From there everyone left to try and get a little sleep before returning to the hospital later in the afternoon… that is when I had some quiet one on one time with my little Link. It feels weird to describe my bond with him as not instantaneous but it wasn’t. I really felt so overwhelmed at the idea of wrapping my head around two kids. A forty week pregnancy isn’t fast by any means but it still didn’t feel like enough time to ready myself for this monumental change. But there in the early morning of Christmas Eve, A Christmas Story playing on repeat in the background while sun peeked through the window, I laid in a hospital bed next to the rolling bassinet and listened to his little squeaks as he stretched as far as his little limbs could.
I stared at him. He didn’t look much like Hayes, his hair was a lot shorter and darker, his complexion darker, no dimples and definitely not a little upturned button nose, but he was still such a handsome little guy. All the nurses commented on it.
I think it is the quiet time I got to have with Link I will revel in the most. There was so much hustle and bustle, especially the following day, Christmas day, when everyone came to visit again and came baring gifts. Toys and things were strewn all over the room and not nearly enough couches or chairs for everyone in the room to sit. I felt overwhelmed, especially with my crazy toddler running around all the medical equipment!
My most favorite time was later Christmas evening, everyone had left except for Tycen and Hayes. We called down to room service and I ordered a hot meal but as my husband, Tycen was permitted to order one too. I never got to make us a special Christmas breakfast but there we were, having a nice hot meal as a family of four on that Christmas night while we watched movies. With full tummies Hayes and Tycen curled up the couch and fell asleep, Link slept on the other side of me, and I laid there in my hospital bed feeling so incredibly blessed.
It is the fact that this Christmas was so out of the ordinary and so far from tradition that I will remember it most vividly. The first Christmas we spent with the four of us together.
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