How to build a palace

A talk was given in church a week or so ago that was all about perspective, which of course made me introspective. I realized that while I like to pretend I am an optimist, I am much more often dancing around on the darker side of pessimism. Our speaker painted a couple pictures to help illustrate the lesson but one in particular stood out to me, that was the painting of the palace and the prison. He explained that oftentimes we have choices, but sometimes there are four walls of circumstance that cage us in beyond our choice and beyond our control.

For the pessimist we see a prison. The walls are foreboding. The room is dark and dank, and a lonely cage in which to dwell. Visitors beware as they are not welcomed by the rain cloud that is circling as it rains or strikes anyone who dares to bring any attitude opposing that of misery.

For an optimists we see a palace. The same four walls of circumstance in which this person cannot leave, they make the best of. Walls are painted, pictures are hung, and visitors are welcomed in to this warm and inviting room. In fact, guests are often visiting because of the sunny disposition of this particular individual.
I find myself habitually trapped in rooms of circumstance, sometimes by the hands of others but most often as a result of my own imprudence. It is when I land myself within the confines of these walls with the knowledge that I myself, am the very villain that trapped me there… it is then that I struggle the most to find that silver silhouette encasing the cloud that is pouring down on me. But it was during that talk that I was finally able to really comprehend just how much gratitude plays into optimism.

Sure, I can paint a picture of this bleak existence on the walls that surround me, as so often I do. I’ve had my heart broken multiple times and tend to dwell on it. I venture out on these fruitless quests to discover where I went wrong fueled by a hope that if I find an answer, maybe it will change everything… but it never does and so the misery continues. Yet I know there is much to be grateful for.

It is an absolute blessing to have had my heart broken as many times as I have. I have been fortunate to encounter some really extraordinary men, each worthy of falling in love with. While none of these relationships stood the test of time, I learned much from each of them for the short periods of time I spent with them. Each relationship taught me things about myself and what I want out of a future partner, things I might have otherwise had to just guess on. I have a long history of fond memories and experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world. I know that not everyone dates or loves as often or frequently as I do, so that truly is something to be grateful for. Someday all these experiences are going to help me be a successful partner to my future spouse. Sometimes I am impatient and I want things to happen right now, but it will happen for me when its suppose to.

It took me a long time, but I realize now that the more grateful I can be for the things that hurt me most, the better I will be at building a palace and the happier I will be.