Hey universe, its me, Noelle. You know, that girl you’ve been using as an outhouse for the past week? I’ve got something for you, in fact, two somethings. Two middle fingers held high and a big F-U sounding from my lips. Go ahead. Keep dumping on me, I don’t care. I don’t care that I’m sleeping on an air mattress in a room with no floor and an echo bouncing off every wall. I don’t care that I’m between houses and I can’t find any of my things, and that my life is in complete disarray. I don’t care that people around me are making decisions that dramatically effect my life and limit my decisions… I DON’T CARE. Throw whatever you want at me, I mean you can’t kill my cat, you already did that last September. So go a-freaking-head. Shit away. Because you know what? I can handle it. I might not be able to rely on many people, usually my problems in the first place are a result of relying on people who can’t be trusted. But I know one person I can always trust to have my back no matter what and that is God.
Bad things are happening universe. Completely stupid, inexcusable, unexplainable, and unfair things are happening, at the hands of others no less. I know you’re trying to teach me not to be a good person universe, you’re trying to teach me not to trust people because they will let me down. You’re trying to teach me that doing nice things and reaching out to help people and be kind to them will ultimately come back to haunt me in the worst way, so don’t help. You’re trying to get me to give up hope, that it all just sucks and there isn’t a point. But I have a point. I have a purpose and I’m going to keep being me and doing what I believe is right in spite of whatever asinine lesson you’re trying to teach me.
Heavenly Father loves me and is going to help me through all this. I might just be a tiny, insignificance in your eyes universe. Just a speck in the fabric of your endless folds, but to Him I am special, I am loved. And you know what universe? He created you. As big and grand as you are, you are nothing. Do your worst, but I am not alone, so suck it.
About Me
- Noelle Lani
- Life should be lived as play according to the phiolsopher Plato and me? I happen to agree. I am a very social person, I almost don't know how to communicate without flirting with people. I enjoy kicking back and spending a night in, but I'm also known for heading out for a night on the town, or just a midnight jaunt to the jungle gym. I believe that life is too short to be angry all the time, but you might often hear me complaining about some life stress. I think I just like to get things off my chest so I can move forward. Sometimes I write really dreary things because its easier and safer to be sad at the helm of my laptop, truly I am a happy person. I aim to be the life of the party, if I can get the crowd laughing and having a good time, then my work is done. It is my hope that my writing means something. I write because it makes me feel better, but at the end of the day if sharing one of my experiences can help someone else not feel so alone or help them learn from my mistakes, then I've created something worth while.
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