A fine line between hatred and harassment

It is 9:52 AM on a Wednesday. I should be in class right now but am stewing here in my bedroom at the debacle that was my morning routine. Originally the plan was to wake up around 6:30-6:45. I have to look extra nice today for some pictures my club will be taking sometime after our board meeting later this afternoon. I would need to be out the door by about 7:50, slave through traffic, and be seated and ready to go by 8:30 sharp. Of course none of this happened...

I am not a morning person. I would even argue that as a baby I probably only woke up in the morning because I was hungry. Couple this loath of the rising sun with the fact that I am a deep sleeper and you have a recipe for morning catastrophes nearly every time I wake up. In high school it was always a made dash to school, only taking care of the bare essentials before stumbling out the door. In college I conquered this problem by registering for classes starting at 10 AM and later. This solution worked out really well for me as my brain doesn't even begin to function till late morning anyway. Life was great until I started focusing on my major, which by that point there is no picking and choosing when and from whom you take your classes, you just get what you're given. In my case, I was given Dr.... we'll call him Dr. S.

Dr. S hates me. There is a deep fire within his bosom that burns and boils his blood at the mere thought of me. I have somehow taken on the epitome of everything this man hates most in this world and how I won myself this title, is beyond me. I have often said that if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. As my luck would have it, my first class of the morning (at 8:30) is with good old Dr. S.
　
Now for the most part college has taught me that professors really don't care. In fact, I have always said jokingly but serious in the same instant, that in grades k-12 we call them teachers, because that's what they do, they teach. In college, however, we call them professors because they lecture and profess boastfully about their knowledge while you scribble down ever bit of information that might show up on an up coming exam. More or less I've found myself as the teacher, as I would try and make some sense out of the lecture and try and match the information to the chapter we were supposed to be going over. In that respect, I teach myself. I know it is to my benefit to attend classes, but I've always loved that even if I wasn't able to make it, I could always read over the chapter, study hard and do well on the exam, in spite of missing some awe inspired lecture that was meant to change my life. Professors don't care because they get paid regardless of whether or not I pass their class. Beyond that, I am the one paying to be there, if I choose to miss class and fail as a result, then that is entirely me prerogative.

Now where does this land me with Dr. S you might be wondering? Unlike most professors, Dr. S takes it very personally when you miss his class. He has lectured myself as well as my fellow classmates about "professionalism," and what it means to be respectful and "professional." Things like attending class regularly and punctuality will win you this highly coveted professionalism, which at 8:30 in the morning is a rather daunting task for me. Needless to say I have struggled and slipped up. I have been late and missed his class. I still did well on the exam and have been doing my reading out side of class, as well as taking care of tasks oriented with my group project, but these are all trifle matters in the eyes of Dr. S. Missing his class is like a direct attack towards him and whatever he is trying to accomplish.

I believe he gives out 20 points through out the semester towards professionalism, I take full accountability when I say, go ahead and not give me the points. I understand that there need to be consequences for my actions. I am not making excuses. Sure, I'm not a morning person, but how many 23 year olds are? As a professor he can choose where to give out points and on what grounds, I'm not arguing that, but what really gets me is how he will go on and on about professional behavior yet he himself can't exhibit the same. I am pretty sure there is nothing professional about slandering a student to other classmates that isn't there to defend herself. If he wanted to pull me aside after class, set up a meeting with me, or even email me about his dissatisfactions in my absence or tardiness, that would be acceptable. However, to sit and lecture the entire class about professionalism and threaten to remove me from my group project, simply because I am not there is completely unprofessional and as a professor I think much more is expected of him in regards to this professionalism he is constantly boasting about. A college student missing class isn't exactly earth shattering or abnormal behavior, but a professor bad mouthing and gossiping about a student? Suffice it to say that if his behavior continues, there may be a future meeting with a department chair about his actions.

Its interesting because I've never really had anything like this happen to me before. I have had professors that I didn't like, but I have never had one that was out to get me. In all respects I feel like if I were to be crossing the street and he happened to be driving his car down the road, he would speed up to hit me... just saying.
Through adversity we learn and although the lesson I think Dr. S wants me to learn, attendance and punctuality (aka professionalism), is not what I will take away from this. I have learned that there will be people in this life that are outright difficult, if not impossible to please. I can do one of two things, let their attitude towards me govern how I feel about myself or I can accept that despite my failed efforts to convince this person otherwise, I am still a worthwhile person... who just happens to be late.

"Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it." - Frank Tyger